In each of these places you will find people who offer great support, people who do not understand, people who doubt and people who want to know more.  Surround yourself with those who support you, reach out to those who want to know more. Use caution about being too open with those who doubt and do not understand.

SPOUSE:  Chris has always been great about giving me support but I did not give him near enough credit. When I needed more time alone and more support all I had to do was ask and he was more than willing to be there in any way I asked.  Don't be afraid to ask for more time for yourself or what ever it is you need.  The stresses of parenting special needs can actually bring you closer together if you both give each other the support needed.  Thanks for always being there for me Chris!  Did I mention that sometimes you just have to ask?

CHURCH:
Prayer - ask as many as you can to pray for you and your family.

Pastors - Let them know what is going on with you.  They cannot reach out if they don't know. Mine is great about asking, giving a hug or just smiling that knowing smile that says he cares.

Sharing - Pick a few people you feel confident with and try to be as open as you feel comfortable about what is happening in your life.  People who share your faith can offer great strength and support.

SUPPORT GROUPS:

Adoption support groups

RAD support groups

foster care support groups

If you cannot find one, do a search on line under support groups and type in the towns you would be willing to go too.  Call social services, therapists, adoption agencies and the schools to see if any of them know of one.  If they don't they might put you in touch with a parent who is active and would know. 

FRIENDS:

Old friends that are supportive of what your are doing can be a great comfort.   But don't always talk about RAD.  Sometimes it is helpful to do things together and not mention it just to give your mind a break.

New friends:  You will make new friends in your support group. If you do not find a support group, I called social services and got a list of names of adoptive and foster parents.  I started calling and asking if they were interested in a support group.  It did not fall into place but I made some very close friends in the process of calling. 

As your support system grows people will refer other adoptive parents to you.  You can learn to be a support and gain more support at the same time. 

RELATIVES:

You will quickly learn which relatives "get" RAD and which ones do not.  My extended family has been completely supportive and will help in any way that I ask.  A couple of the websites do have information you can share with relatives.   

Awesome Grandpareniting for RAD -http://www.attachment.org/grand.htm

Tips to give friends # 16 on this FAQ sheet-  http://www.radkid.org/faq.html#16

THERAPISTS:

We went through a wide variety of therapists, counsellors, psychologists, and psychiatrists before we ended up at an attachment therapist.  I hope you are so fortunate as to begin your treatement with an attachment therapist because it makes a huge difference. 

http://www.attachment.org/Findtherp.htm

http://www.radkid.org/treatment_usa.html

After recieving attachment therapy for a few months we added EMDR therapy.

Read about it here: http://www.radkid.org/emdr.html

 Therapy for yourself -Do not under estimate the toll raising a child with RAD can take on your emotions.  I have spent time in counselling with both our attachment therapist and EMDR therapist.  They can be a great support and give much understanding while giving you professional support that family and friends might not be qualified to give.  If you need help, ask for it!